Hi, I'm Fujin no miko...
by Ivy Assiah
Summary: Well, "The Ghost of You an Me" bothered me soooo much I had to post something stupid that I wasn't going to post in the first place. Remember all those Mary Sue fics? Yeah. Well, I'm in it and so is Kouji and Genrou.


Hi, I'm Fujin no miko, Priestess of the East Northwest God  
  
  
  
"Kouji, I don't think that's ordinary." Genrou pointed at the ordinary sack of "loot" that was wiggling on the ground, yelling profane things.   
  
"No, I don't think so." Picking up a nearby tree branch he give it one good hard whack. The sack stopped moving and yelling profane things. "Now I think it's normal."  
  
"Yep." Genrou picked up the sack and tossed it back across his horse and climbed up, sadly missing his target and landing where the bag was just a few moments ago. It should now have been made obvious that the two men were quite inebriated. Eventually Genrou made it up onto his horse and he and Kouji made it back to the stronghold after a good night of drinking, looting, and falling on their behinds from high places.   
  
The next morning Kouji woke up with one helluva headache. Of course it wasn't as bad as how bad his rear-end hurt but we won't go into that because it could be taken to mean something totally different. I'll give you a second to think about that. Ok, back to the story. It also wasn't helping that his sack of loot was wiggling again and shouting profane things in the corner of the room.  
  
"SHUT UP!" he yelled throwing his boot at it. It bounced off the sack and only succeeded in pissing it off immensly sending it into a louder round of cursing.  
  
"LET ME OUT OF THIS GOD DAMNED TINY SPACE OR I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL RIP OFF YOUR LEGS AND SING SHOW TUNES LOUDLY INTO YOUR EAR WHILE YOU SCREAM IN AGONY AND--" In order to make the sack shut up Kouji took out his handy-dandy notebook--er, knife and cut it open. He then instinctively stepped back as a very angry and annoyed girl jumped out.   
  
"OK! WHY THE HELL DID YOU SHOVE ME IN A BAG!?!?!" Kouji thought back to the night before, nope, he didn't remember shoving any loud people into bags.   
  
"Um, I have no idea what you're talking about."  
  
"What do you mean!? One minute I was typing on the compy the next I find myself in a bag and I start kicking and screaming and no one would let me out and then I get hit in the head and wake up with a lump the size of canada and then--" the girl was breathing really heavily now and Kouji was beginning to worry. "--And then I get hit again and then I get out and see YOU! Who are YOU!?!?"   
  
"Kouji."  
  
The girl stepped back, brown eyes wide. "No way....I thought you looked...no way..." she sat down and closed her eyes leaning against the wall. "I feel like I'm stuck in one of my bad fics."   
  
"I'm not sure what you're talking about but Genrou and me can take you back into town if that's where you came from--" he was cut off by the girl jumping up.  
  
"Genrou's here!? As in Tasuki Genrou?"  
  
"Yes?" Kouji was beginning to worry now, that girl was getting a crazy gleam in her eye. "Er...what's your name anyway?" Kouji walked up to her and put his hand on her shoulder.   
  
"Eh...Ah...My...my name...it's uh...."   
  
((Oh no. It seems the poor girl is suffering from "Fangirl" syndrome. A dreaded disease that attacks one's nervous system and paralyses the body preventing one from moving or saying anything coherent. It always strikes at an important and crucial moments, particularly when a hot guy comes very close to a fangirl. It strikes without warning...It's next victim could be YOU.))   
  
Luckily the brain kicks in...  
  
"I'm Ivy! But you can call me All-Knowing-Queen-of-The-Universe!" My mistake. It wasn't the brain, just the ego.  
  
At any rate, soon Kouji and Ivy were in Genrou's room. The red-head was staring at Ivy trying to figure out what she was doing there and why she was staring at him so intently.   
"Um, Kouji?"  
  
"This is Ivy. I threw a boot at her an' she jumped out of a bag." Seeing as how Genrou speaks fluent Kouji he understood completely.  
  
"Where'd she come from?"  
  
"I think from the town...but she doesn't look like she's from around here."  
  
"Hah. I'm not." Ivy nodded and crossed her arms. "Oh yes, this is a standard fanfic plot. I appear without precident followed by long, flowery descriptions of my flowing fiery locks and such, then Taiitsukun appears telling me how it's my destiny to help one of you find the meaning of life or something lame like that. We eventually fall in love and blah blah blah...." She looked up at the ceiling expectantly.   
  
"You don't have 'flowing fiery locks'." Genrou pointed out. After a few minutes passed and still no Taiitsukun Ivy realized that this was decidedly no normal fic.   
  
"Hmm, ok. I could be wrong." Ivy crossed her arms and pouted. She hated being wrong.   
  
"Well, I guess we can go an' see Taiitsukun." Genrou said. When out of creative plot ideas the author must resort to the cliches.   
  
"Hmm, I think this was used in a fic. There's hope for me yet!" Ivy grinned and turned to the guys. "Let's GO GO!"  
  
  
Moving along the story...  
  
Three days and many fun filled adventures later (Ivy fell off a horse...in a mud puddle) the trio arrived at Taiitsukun's palace high up on Mount Taikyoku. It was a long climb but they eventually made it to the top, relieved that they weren't zapped into pink bubbles by little girls who wanted to "fix" them. Kouji didn't think he'd fancy being "fixed" much.  
  
"Tasuki? I must say this is a surprise..." Taiitsukun floated over to the Suzaku warrior. "And who is this?"  
  
"You know Kouji, right?" A vein appeared in Taiitsukun's forehead and Tasuki suddenly found himself flattened to the floor.  
  
"Not him, idiot, HER!"  
  
"I'm Ivy. Do I get to save the world?"   
  
"I sense a great power emenating from this one..." Taiitsukun closed her eyes and moved her hand's around Ivy's head like it was a crystal ball.   
  
"See, I knew it." Ivy grinned.  
  
"Ah, yes! She is the last living descendant from Fujin, the god of some previously undiscovered cardinal point and is destined to save our world as Fujin's miko! She also is an Aries with a Pisces rising!"   
  
"Some previously undiscovered cardinal point?? You mean like East Northwest??" Now this was just getting ridiculous. Hi, I'm Fujin no miko, Priestess of the East Northwest God. "Um, so what do I have to save the world from?" A grave look crossed Taiitsukun's face.   
  
"Um...let me see here..." Pulling out a pair of granny glasses Taiitsukun consulted her "List of possible Problems". "It's either Tenkou, who somehow broke out of his seal thingy; or Raijin, Fujin's twin brother and god of the West Northeast. Or it might be Tenkou who was really Raijin's minion and is out to get revenge for his master, or--"  
  
"Ok, ok...geez."   
  
"Weeeell, we'd best be on our way. Best of luck to you, crazy girl." Tasuki and Kouji turned to leave, but were stopped by Mysterious Unknown Forces. Ok, I lied. They weren't MUFs. It was those little girls with the pink bubbles.  
  
"And where do you think you're going? She'll need guardians while she saves the world. Who knows, you might even find the meaning of life and true love along the way." ((Ivy secretly slipped the goddess $20 for saying that))  
  
"But isn't that normally Chichiri's job???" Tasuki whined, as always, reluctant to help the beautiful damsel in distress.   
  
"Yes, but Chichiri quit after falling in love one to many times."   
  
So, reluctantly, the reluctant guardians followed Taiitsukun to the East Northwest part of the Palace on Mt. Taikyoku where they would get a quick history lesson on Fujin, Raijin, and the invention of the Cotton Gin. Again I reluctantly point out how RELUCTANT Kouji and Tasuki were to be her guardians.  
  
  
  
Author's Notes: Well, like, gosh golly gee whiz! HAH! I wrote something utterly pointless *everyone looks confused* (you mean...there's a point to everything else??) I hope that BubblePrincessRainbowCutie thing didn't offend anyone. Tell me what you lovely peole think, ok? BTW if you couldn't tell Ivy really is me. :P And I have no 'flowing fiery locks', those are Tasuki's! I have pointy brown hair! Muahahahaha *cough* *hack*  
  
I promised you Enlightenment: One cannot be one if there is two  
  
Everyone else: *starts banging their head on desk* that's STUPID! 


End file.
